“When the Smoke Clears… Applications”

http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/health/story/2012-01-03/health-care-jobs-no-smoking/52394782/1

In an increasing employment trend, companies are avoiding hiring smokers in order to cut health and

life insurance costs.  In other words, they are literally sick of having to cough up more money.

Smokers have the last laugh, though, when they die and don’t need a job any more.

The National Workrights Institute, an off-shoot of the ACLU, is working to defend smokers’ rights.  They call such hiring bans a cancer on the lungs of the workforce.

All the fuss is making smokers nervous, which only makes them smoke more.

With more and more companies getting on board, this hiring trend appears to be addictive.

“Warning: Graphic Warnings”

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/health/story/2011/06/FDA-issues-graphic-cigarette-labels/48676990/1

Tuesday the FDA unveiled the new graphic health warnings which will be required to cover 50% of cigarette packaging.  There are 9 different disturbing images, and the message to children is clear: “Hey kids, collect them all!”

If cigarettes don’t hurt your health, the warning labels alone are enough to make you sick.

The graphic images depict a cancerous mouth, a corpse, diseased lungs, and more.  In fact, there will soon be a call for a warning about the warnings.

Two cigarette manufacturers have already filed a lawsuit saying that the new labeling requirements will kill their branding and their relationship with customers.  Meanwhile, their brands are actually killing their customers.

“Smokey Lens”

http://www.usatoday.com/money/companies/regulation/2010-11-10-tobacco-labels_N.htm

The FDA and the Department for Health and Human Services are pushing for larger, graphic warnings on cigarette packs that would feature pictures of corpses and cancerous mouths, among other images. So smokers can be as grossed out by cigarettes as non-smokers.

“Bananas for Cigarettes”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2010-11-08-smoking-chimp-rescued_N.htm

A 12-year-old chimpanzee has been rescued by animal rights activists and relocated to a Brazil sanctuary after being discovered smoking cigarettes in a Lebanon zoo. Apparently, in Lebanon, they don’t card for cigarettes.

In Brazil, the chimp will fight his nicotine addiction, and will be happy to get that monkey off his back.

The chimp’s treatment in Lebanon has brought harsh criticism, from his small cage enclosure to his chain… smoking.

It was a surprise to discover the chimp smoking, because, though they are social, they aren’t really pack animals.

Animals rights activists moved quickly once they thought the chimp was in danger. There were threats of violence from the Lebanese zoo’s camels when they heard the chimp was smoking Camels.

The smoking chimp would easily become agitated and would screech and scream as if cursing and swearing. Apparently, he had no filter.

The Brazilian sanctuary is glad to put a stop to the mistreatment of the animal. There is nothing funny about a chimpanzee smoking cigarettes. Cigars, however, now that’s hilarious.