“Warning: Graphic Warnings”

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/health/story/2011/06/FDA-issues-graphic-cigarette-labels/48676990/1

Tuesday the FDA unveiled the new graphic health warnings which will be required to cover 50% of cigarette packaging.  There are 9 different disturbing images, and the message to children is clear: “Hey kids, collect them all!”

If cigarettes don’t hurt your health, the warning labels alone are enough to make you sick.

The graphic images depict a cancerous mouth, a corpse, diseased lungs, and more.  In fact, there will soon be a call for a warning about the warnings.

Two cigarette manufacturers have already filed a lawsuit saying that the new labeling requirements will kill their branding and their relationship with customers.  Meanwhile, their brands are actually killing their customers.

“Where There’s Smoke, There’s Tobacco, Firearms, or Explosives”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2011-05-02-atf-cigarette-smuggling.htm

The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives says investigations of cigarette smuggling by violent gangs have increased sharply is states that have increased tobacco taxes.  The gangs are excited because, just like the guns they are used to, cigarettes kill people.

Also, a lot of gang members smoke, so they can give themselves a discount.

If the ATF catches any of these gangs, the standard punishment is to make them smoke a whole carton so they learn a lesson.

The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives is a division of the government’s Department of Smoke and Mirrors.

“City of Brotherly Lungs”

http://www.usatoday.com/yourlife/health/medical/pediatrics/2010-12-02-phillysmoke02_ST_N.htm

The City of Philadelphia is meeting criticism for a higher rate of teen smoking than other major Northeast cities. Officials say the problem is mainly the ease of tobacco availability to minors, such as in the popular Philly Cheese-Cig sandwich.

“Bananas for Cigarettes”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2010-11-08-smoking-chimp-rescued_N.htm

A 12-year-old chimpanzee has been rescued by animal rights activists and relocated to a Brazil sanctuary after being discovered smoking cigarettes in a Lebanon zoo. Apparently, in Lebanon, they don’t card for cigarettes.

In Brazil, the chimp will fight his nicotine addiction, and will be happy to get that monkey off his back.

The chimp’s treatment in Lebanon has brought harsh criticism, from his small cage enclosure to his chain… smoking.

It was a surprise to discover the chimp smoking, because, though they are social, they aren’t really pack animals.

Animals rights activists moved quickly once they thought the chimp was in danger. There were threats of violence from the Lebanese zoo’s camels when they heard the chimp was smoking Camels.

The smoking chimp would easily become agitated and would screech and scream as if cursing and swearing. Apparently, he had no filter.

The Brazilian sanctuary is glad to put a stop to the mistreatment of the animal. There is nothing funny about a chimpanzee smoking cigarettes. Cigars, however, now that’s hilarious.

“Nicotine Is a Drug”

San Francisco is trying to ban the sale of tobacco products at all stores containing pharmacies. That strategy may not help dissuade smoking; keeping tobacco users out of stores where they might consult someone knowledgeable about the effects of drugs.

To reduce smoking, a smarter move would be to ban the sale of cigarettes in all stores that sell lighters.

Make them walk down the street to the other store. They’d be wheezing so much by the time they walked a couple of blocks, they might just say ‘forget it.’