“Shorts Sentence”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/story/2012-02-16/underwear-bomber/53115186/1

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, better known as the underwear bomber, was sentenced to multiple life sentences Thursday, for trying to blow up a jet plane bound for Detroit, Dec 25, 2009.  This despite his lawyer’s attempt at a defense that an awful in-flight meal caused the explosion in his underwear.

The bomb hidden in his underwear ignited and burned him, but failed to explode.  Apparently, for Umar, nothing below the waist ever worked very well.

Due to his botched bombing, if he ever got on another plane, he would be able to stow his genitals in a carry-on bag.

There is little concern that Umar might catch a venereal disease in prison, since he has already had a flaming crotch.

He’s expected to be very popular in prison, especially since his posterior has already been blown wide open.

The multiple life sentences were imposed because the judge felt that the defendant would try to commit future terrorist acts if ever released, if only he still had the balls.

“Underwear Bomber: Guilty Pleasure?”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2011/10/underwear-bomber-changes-plea-to-guilty/1

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the so-called “Underwear Bomber” pleaded guilty to trying to blow up a plane as a passenger in flight, on Christmas, 2009.  He had originally planned to plead not guilty, but was convinced to change both his plea and his underwear.

Umar called the bomb he carried a “Blessed weapon,” which was proven to be true when, instead  of killing innocent people on a plane, it just burned his junk.

In reference to the underwear incident, he read from a brief, not boxer, statement.

In addition to possible consecutive life sentences, the 8 charges to which he pleaded carry fines of $250,000 as well.  So by blowing up his underwear, he really lost his ass.

Details of his injuries were not specific, but it is widely believed that since his bomb went off, there’s no more fruit in the loom.

The bomber threatened the United States with further violence, adding, “If you laugh at us now, we will laugh at you later.”  The United States, meanwhile, did not laugh at any violence, but couldn’t help but chuckle at the guy who ignited a bomb in his own underwear and burned his butt off.

Because of his bad underwear experience, if he ever plans another military style attack, he’d prefer to go commando.