“Fat Chance”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/story/2012/09/21/sugary-drinks-may-magnify-the-genetic-risk-of-obesity/57821200/1

Harvard researchers say that people who are genetically predisposed to obesity are more likely to become obese if they drink a lot of sugary beverages.  Their conclusions are based on studying 32 genes, gathering ancestry data and testing thousands of grouped subjects.  But they could have gotten the same results just from looking at people.

“Teen Pop”

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/fitness-food/diet-nutrition/story/2011/06/CDC-1-in-4-high-schoolers-drink-soda-every-day/48496744/1

A national survey on sweetened beverages found that 1 out of 4 high school students drink at least 1 soda each day.  The rest are drinking beer.

The survey included 11,000 teens nationwide. They would have liked to haves urveyed a much larger group, but the rest of American teens no longer answer any question that doesn’t come as a text message.

Fortunately, not all sodas purchased by teens are being drunk by them.  Sometimes they just dump the soda out of the can or bottle to make a bong out of it.

Not all high school students drink soda for the sugar or the caffeine.  Sometimes they just need something to mix with their Jack Daniels.

Some high school students are trying to cut down on the sugar and caffeine they get from sodas.  And their answer to the problem is a Starbucks triple-shot mocha-caramel frappucino.

“Heavy News”

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/health/medical/heartdisease/story/2011/03/Out-of-shape-Intense-exercise-sex-may-raise-heart-risk/45194406/1

A new research study warns that people who are out of shape may be at greater risk of heart attack prompted by sudden physical activy, including sex. Fortunately, fat people have a lower risk of getting laid.

The risk of heart attack for single men is less, because when they have sex, their hearts are less likely to be involved.

Married men who have sex with another woman, however, are more likely to be killed by their wives, which the wives refer to as “natural causes.”

“Pumping into the Economy”

The FDA is concerned about a new trend wherein some mothers are selling their breast milk online. But marketing experts say that it is just the next logical step in trickle-down economics.

As a business, breast milk makes sense as a product, because of its liquidity.