Odds and (Big) Ends

Kim Kardashian attended the White House Correspondents Dinner this past week.  Why not?  Among all those politicians, what's one more big ass?

The Secret Service has decided to assign chaperones to its agents on some foreign trips.  Secret Service agents said they don't mind chaperones, as long as they are hot ladies ready to party!

Jessica Simpson is spending $4,000 a night for the luxury hospital birthing suite where she gave birth to her new daughter.  And from the looks of things, Jessica, $3,000 of that is just to cover the cost of food.

“Secret Serviced”

Since the Secret Service prostitution scandal in Columbia broke, 3 officers of the 11 actively investigated have been dismissed  It seems some of those agents got tired of the earpiece, and decided to get a different piece.

At least with their Kevlar vests, we know they had protection.

Ironically, when they worked for Bill Clinton, they were willing to take a bullet.

"A Shot at the White House"

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/theoval/post/2011/11/bullet-hits-obama-white-house/1

A man was arrested Wednesday for allegedly firing 2 shots at the White House Friday night, one of which hit a bullet-proof window.  Tea partiers blame the incident on the decline of the neighborhood since President You-Know-Who moved in.

The 2 bullets were recovered and the weapon they came from was found – at taxpayers’ expense, complained Republicans.

“White House De-Fence"

http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/man-climbs-over-white-house-fence-nabbed-by-secret-service/2011/09/20/gIQAoXi8iK_story.html

A man who jumped the fence and was running towards the western entrance of The White House Tuesday afternoon was stopped and apprehended by uniformed secret service officers.   The man appeared to pose no threat; he was just a Tea Partier who thought this is how you run for president.

Once the man was identified, agents told him, “If you want to see the president, just make an appointment like everyone else, Vice President Biden.”

“Driving Points”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2010-12-23-bush-house-crash_N.htm?csp=hf

A car crashed onto the front lawn at the home of former president George W. Bush Wednesday. No one was injured, but before any debris from the accident was cleared, Bush complimented the head of FEMA on doing a great job removing it.

The car and driver never posed any threat to Mr. or Mrs. Bush, but George declared war on it anyway.

Bush blamed the accident on a part of the car, referring to it as an axle of evil.

The Secret Service is investigating in cooperation with the NSA, since the oil and other elements in the fuel in the car seem to have originated from somewhere the Middle East.

Bush said the excitement prompted by the sudden car crash reminded him of his days in the White House. Until an aid corrected him, saying, “No, sir. That was more of a train wreck.”

Republicans condemned the driver for being so careless, and Democrats condemned the car for its low gas mileage.