A woman in Britain says that because she has never had sex, she’s lived for 105 years. If you call that living.
Originally, she was waiting for Mr. Right. Now she’s waiting for the Grim Reaper.
She says she owes her longevity to having remained a virgin. Oh, she’ll let you touch her boobs, though, if you’re willing to reach up her dress just past her ankles.
She’s been retired for decades, but still has plenty of money, thanks to the diamonds that formed from the coal she put in her vagina.
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