“Take a Pill”

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/health/story/2012-02-01/Pfizer-recalls-1M-birth-control-packs-after-mixup/52912626/1

Pzizer has issued a recall of 1 million birth control pills under 3 different brand and generic names, after a factory dispensing error caused packages to contain too many pills or too few.  This story is a lead in to October’s top story: the 2012 baby boom.

A Pfizer spokesperson encourages customers to return the recalled pills, or just stop sleeping around.

On the upside, the factory mistake takes some of the burden of responsibility off of the many women who just forgot to take their pill anyway.

Women who got too many of the hormone pills have been outraged, then depressed, then apologetic, then flirty, and then aggressively amorous.

Instead of continuing to take the pills in their current package, some women are just taking the placebos.

On an interesting social note, experts estimate that the need to replace 1 million defective pills will likely prevent sex from taking place by as many as 2 drunk strangers.

Many users of the pill are planning to launch a class action lawsuit, but won’t have time to pursue it once they are trying to care for a newborn.

Catching More of this Week's Stories...

Last Sunday, a woman in a movie theater was stabbed in the neck with a meat thermometer after telling a fellow moviegoer to stop talking on their cell phone. According to the meat thermometer, the woman was already done.


A Santa Monica restaurant called "The Hump" has been accused of illegally selling sushi with whale meat. Fans of the restaurant did their legal defence no favour, standing outside the closed restaurant chanting "We want The Hump back!"


Earlier this week, a Mississippi school system after it cancelled a senior prom to prevent a lesbian student from wearing a tuxedo and bringing a same-sex date. Said a homophobic Mississippian: "If we let girls date girls and wear tuxedo-pants an' such, we might as well change our name from Mississippi to Dude-issippi."


On Thursday. a 55-year-old man broke into a church where he allegedly used the institution’s electronic equipment to watch pornography. The Church's priests were never suspected of having been the ones to view the pornography, because it wasn't gay porn.


A new study shows that kidney donors live as long, on average, as those who have not donated a kidney. The study was meant to reassure all those people who are waking up hung-over and naked, in a bathtub full of ice.


A New York woman who said her botched breast enhancement surgery left her looking like she had four breasts was awarded $3.5 million dollars for pain and suffering. Then she was sold to a dairy farm.


Four U.S. Senators are questioning the near-$1 million compensation for the CEO of the Boys and Girls Clubs of America, a non-profit that receives million in federal funding. Some aren’t surprised about the large sum, as the organization’s logo is a hand-over-fist.


Friday was International Women’s Day. The White House marked the occasion with a speech by Michelle Obama on progress in women’s issues. The rest of the country celebrated with “Two-for-one lap dances.”


A British research study found that women who take the birth control pill live longer than women who don’t. Said a British mother: “Of course women on the pill live longer. They don’t have kids to suck the life out of them day and night.”