Comb the Desert:

At the Hair Restoration Convention in Las Vegas, doctors have been discussing developing technologies and methods to replace hair. No wonder Donald Trump is moving in on Las Vegas.

The implications of this are far-reaching. Think of it: Ron Howard could stop wearing baseball caps. Steven Van Zandt could retire his head scarves!

This may even mean that there will soon be a cure for the Mohawk.



Democrats in Congress are getting ready to unveil a bill that would require records of all government electronic surveillance conducted without a court order. If they’ve discussed any of it over the phone, though, President Bush already knows all about it.

Critics of Bush’s wiretapping are quick to forget the Clinton White House. That guy tapped everything.



Researchers report that a migraine pill called Topomax has been useful to alcoholics trying to quit drinking. In a study, heavy drinkers using the pill had greater success if they tried to quit. If they just took the pill and didn’t try to quit drinking, at least they were cured of their hangover headaches.

Some participants dropped out of the study because of strong side effects such as drowsiness and dizziness. My question is how could they tell?

For those that stayed in the study, side effects included not passing out, un-slurred speech and single-vision.

On the downside, among those given placebo pills, 50% are now addicted to them.



A lesbian couple who married in 2004 in Massachusetts, but lives in Rhode island, are having trouble trying to divorce. They aren’t Mass. Residents, so they can’t file there, and R.I. has no laws recognizing or outlawing same-sex marriages. What happened to the old days, when lesbian love lasted forever?

Some say that it doesn’t matter; that it isn’t a real marriage. And others argue that Rhode Island isn’t a real state.

The women are taking their case to the R.I. State Supreme Court, but the court says it is not their place to legislate on gay marriage. Their job is to enforce laws and uphold the penal system.

Even if they can’t get a legal divorce, they could just divide up their property, and agree that they each get to keep their own, original mullet.

For those unfamiliar with Rhode Island, it is our nations smallest state, boasts a large seafood industry, and thus is a haven for anyone who loves clams.