President Bush visited California’s wild-fire ravaged land today, visiting with many people who lost their homes. Vice President Cheney was not there, but has been very emotional over the fires, as they have made him homesick for the brimstone he remembers from the pits of hell.

Bush was escorted by Governor Arnold Schwarzeneggar. Bush was glad to see the efforts California is already making to help the displaced and injured. He was also relieved to see Schwarzeneggar was okay after his apparent death at the end of Terminator 3.

The president was asked to compare the federal response to the fires to that of Hurricane Katrina. Bush declined to make a comparison, which shows he’s not as dumb as everybody thinks he is.



James Watson, the DNA scientist and Nobel prize winner whose inflammatory remarks about black people’s intelligence got him suspended from his New York laboratory, has retired from his post effective immediately. Asked if he thought his comments were wrong, he admitted, “Yes. What I said was so stupid, I must be black.”



Al-Qaida is angry at the Al-Jazeera television network, over excerpts of an Osama bin Laden audio tape aired by the network. You can hardly blame them. The quality of that tape was awful.

The terrorist organization is angry over excerpts aired which appear to criticize mistakes made among iraq’s insurgency. We do not yet know if Al-Qaida is suicide-bomb-them-off-the-face-of-the-earth angry, or just mortar-shell-them angry.

Meanwhile, Bin Laden’s tape, as always, shot to the number one spot on both the Genocidal Maniac and Murderous Sociopath music charts.