The Supreme Court is considering an appeal of the $2.5 billion punitive damages award against Exxon Mobil over the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill of 11 million gallons of crude oil. Exxon’s lawyers are really clever. They say, since global warming had raised ocean water levels, the oil to water ratio is far less.

The lawyers went on to say that Exxon Mobil should actually be rewarded for preserving the environment by preventing wildlife from completely overrunning the area.



Following President Bush’s recent healthcare bill veto, Congressional Democrats are strategizing a compromise bill with Republicans to get the two-thirds majority needed to override it. The new bill would grant healthcare to all poor children as long as they invest in blue-chip stocks and carry a hand-gun.



A pastor in Lexington, KY is having all members of his congregation send letters of support to Britney Spears. “As a church, let's love Britney the way Jesus loves her." That’s a nice idea, but isn’t it possible that some church members want to love Britney in a different way?

The plan lost it's steam a bit, however, when Britney took off after hitting and damaging a parked car that tuned out to belong to Jesus.

"No preaching. No criticizing. Just love,” the pastor said in his sermon. So the obvious things not to mention are her divorce, parenting, alcohol, drug abuse, court orders, driver’s license, hit-and-run, her dancing, her singing, or hair extensions.

We all know Britney has had her share of troubles lately. Imagine having two little ones that are getting bigger and bigger every day, but you can’t even see them. But enough about her lips.