Thursday, October 18, 2007

The entire principal cast of J.J. Abrams upcoming Star Trek movie has been announced, filling thousands of nerdy 20-and-30something Star Trek fans with a wave of euphoria as powerful as their first sexual experience. Which they haven’t had yet.



President Bush caused a stir today when he told reporters that if Iran had nuclear weapons, he bluntly stated that it could lead to World War III. Both his supporters and his critics had to admit they were impressed, however, that he got the number right.



The president defended last week’s health-care bill veto, saying it was too big a step towards government-run health care. Senate Majority leader Harry Reid said, “It is… disingenuous for President Bush to lecture Congress.” Bush then tried to veto the use of big words.



Kansas senator and Republican presidential candidate Sam Brownback is dropping out of the race, according to a source close to his campaign. This news was most shocking to his family and the 3 other people who had heard of him.



Britney Spears has had even her visitation rights with her two sons suspended, due to non-compliance with a court order not specified in the Superior Court ruling. Music industry experts speculate that the court order had something to do with singing lessons and losing ten pounds.

Adding insult to injury, her two toddlers think Mommy’s new album is crap.

No comments: