In the city of Fond Du Lac, WI, an unknown person has been stealing all the toilet paper from all the men’s restrooms in the City County Government Center. Who says you can’t fight city hall?

Courthouse officials are on the lookout for anyone who seems to be going out on a roll.

The only suspect so far is a government employee whose legal papers are all quilted.

The city thinks it is just as matter of time before the thief is flushed out.

Everyone at the government center has been affected. In court, lawyers are working harder to hold their objections.

There’s sort of a supply-and-demand principle at work here, now, too, and it’s affecting people’s sympathy and compassion. If someone giving testimony gets weepy-eyed, now no one offers them a tissue.

In no coincidence, the city is also going through double the normal supply of loose leaf and steno paper.



Sadly, Britney Spears has lost custody of her 2 children, ages 1 and 2, at least until further court order. Britney blames herself, because after her appearance at MTV’s VMA’s last month, she said she wished to lose 40 lbs.

Her ex-husband Kevin Federline was awarded custody of the 2 boys following an unspecified oral motion made by his attorneys. “Unspecified oral motion” also sounds like a music critic trying to describe his last rap album without hurting his feelings.

I just feel bad for the boys… because their dad is Kevin Federline.



A British art gallery closed a photo exhibit owned by Sir Elton John, at his request, after controversy over a picture of two nude young girls, which was removed from the exhibit. Controversy or no, everyone is just glad the nude pictures were not of Elton John.



Beyonce Knowles has cancelled her planned concert in Malaysia, where laws require female performers to be completely covered from the shoulders to the knees. In a related story, all of Malaysia’s teenage boys are preparing a revolution.