Monday, March 23, 2009

“Brief Mission” or “Fly Boys”

Aboard the International Space Station this week, Japanese astronaut Koicha Wakata’s mission includes testing new underpants made for life in space. The first problem, of course, is that in zero-gravity, underwear tends to ride up.

The underpants are made to be super-absorbent of sweat, insulated, quick-drying, and antibacterial. The only known design flaw is that they have not been able to make them wedgie-proof.
-This is a real disadvantage, since many space exploration scientists are vulnerable due to their classification as nerds.

The real question is, in the tense moments leading up to a landing back on earth, can the underwear handle a splashdown?

Space agencies are trying to extend the life of disposable garments used in space, since there isn’t a sufficient water supply to wash them. Dry cleaning is out of the question, based on the risk that the astronauts might forget their ticket.

The European Space Agency is way ahead of NASA in both the “not washing clothes” and “not bathing” areas.

Mr. Wakata cannot change the underwear more than once a week for the test, an element described as the “mother’s shame” factor.

Japan is confident in Wakata’s piloting skills, as well, stating that he could land a space shuttle on any runway, without so much as leaving a skid mark.

Strict military rank and protocol prevent any astronauts from voluntarily “going commando.”