“’Squeaky Sentence”

Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme, convicted of attempting to assassinate President Gerald Ford in 1975, was released from prison Friday after serving 33 years of a life sentence. She was paroled once a survey proved no one in America remembers Gerald Ford.

Secret Service stopped Fromme before she was able to take a shot at President Ford, who died in 2006 at the age of 93. So in a way, she still won.

Fromme was a member of Charles Manson’s “family,” but ever since her failed murder attempt on Ford she became an outcast in the family – but only because she failed.

Since Lynette didn’t actually kill anyone, the would-be assassin is actually the sanest member of the “family.”