Showing posts with label Twitter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Twitter. Show all posts

Friday, February 24, 2012

The Lap Dance, White House, NASCAR, Robbery, Pope, Robbery and Twitter Review


A scandal erupted this week for Gerardo Hernandez, a mayoral candidate in Sunland Park, New Mexico who was secretly video-taped receiving a lap-dance from a topless woman in his office.  Hernandez would have told the woman to stop and get dressed, but he didn’t want to be involved in a cover-up.

Hernandez has not dropped out of the race, but has lost at least one vote – his wife’s.



The White House defended President Obama’s apology to Afghan President Hamid Karzi in the wake of two American troops who were killed in what is believed to be retaliation for the burning of copies of the Quran.   Obama hopes Afghanistan will apologize for the murder of the two Americans so we can call it even.

If Afghanistan doesn’t accept Obama’s apology, he wants to ask how many more American troops they would like to kill until they forgive us.



 NASCAR driver Danica Patrick’s race in the Sprint Cup ended abruptly, with a violent collision in the final lap of the qualifying race.  Luckily she wasn’t injured, and as a bonus, she’s been offered an endorsement deal from CrashDaddy.com.

Up until the collision, Danica had been doing well.  NASCAR experts theorize that she probably started fixing her hair and make-up in the rearview mirror, or calling her girlfriends on her cell phone.



Campaigning in Michigan, Mitt Romney said Friday that “Detroit should not just be the Motor City of America… (but) of the world.”  Mitt was talking about his love of cars all week, so it seems he is putting his Motor where his mouth is.

He also criticized government fuel efficiency standards as having put too great a burden on the auto industry.  Apparently, he forgot that most American voters are also drivers who have to pay for their own gas.



In Spain, 4 thieves who robbed a warehouse vault on Thursday crashed their getaway car into another vehicle, carjacked another car to escape, but forgot their loot in the back seat of the abandoned car.  To avoid this problem next time, they are riding bikes.
Even though the loot was left in bags inside the car, it’s okay because the loot did not include milk or any other perishable items.
The driver is especially worried because he doesn’t think his insurance covers botched heists.
Since they lost their own automobile, which is now is police possession, the first plan they made for their next job was to arrange for a car rental.


Pope Benedict XVI has begun posting daily tweets for the Catholic repentance period of Lent.  That ought to get the young people of the Internet.

His tweets pose the question, “What would Jesus say – in 140 characters or less.”

The Vatican hopes the tweets will reach everyone who didn’t give up Twitter for Lent.

The Pope carries around 3 tablets.  One’s an iPad, and the other 2 just have the Ten Commandments on them.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

“L.A. Incling”

Kat Von D has written on Facebook and Twitter that she is “moving on” from her relationship with Jesse James, having discovered 19 women that he has cheated on her with, over the last year.  She realizes now that she should have seen the writing on the skin. 

The pair had bonded over their mutual love of tattoos, but apparently, Jesse was cheating before the ink was dry.

Nineteen different women?  That’s not just the lion’s share.  That’s more like Tiger’s share.

Kat tweeted about it extensively.  And when she got past 140 characters, she just tattooed the rest of the message on herself.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

“Adult Films, but Not Adultery”


A former porn actress named Ginger Lee claims that Congressman Anthony Weiner told her to lie about their email exchanges and Twitter messages.  It’s strange that Weiner might have expected her to remain quiet, since porn stars are not usually known for keeping their mouths closed.

Many of Weiner’s colleagues have issued calls for him to resign.  And most want his seat to be taken by Ginger Lee.

Most of the calls to resign are coming from within his own party, which is ironic, since Weiner’s whole scandal seems to have come from the fact that he wanted to party.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

“McHoax”


McDonald’s is suffering a PR flap over a hoax in which a  Twitter photo shows a fake but official looking McDonald’s memo blaming African Americans for recent robberies.  Not helping is the fact that the Hamburglar has been repeatedly showing up in black-face.

On the upside, the fake scandal is a nice distraction for McDonald’s over their controversially fattening food.


Monday, June 6, 2011

“Battle of the Bulge”


New York’s Congressman Anthony Weiner has finally admitted that he tweeted inappropriate photos of himself, but will not resign from office.  He added, “Voters and my Twitter followers will continue to get exactly the Weiner they signed on for.”

Weiner now admits that he both sent the lewd photos and lied about it just so he’d fit in with the other guys in Congress.

Rep. Weiner's pictures were just doing what his name and title suggest: representing his weiner.

Friday, June 3, 2011

“Weinerville”

Congressman Anthony Weiner came under fire this week for allegedly sending a picture of his groin area via Twitter.  Weiner denied it, saying, “Why would I send out pictures of my penis when it’s just as easy to stream video?”

He claims it was in response to demand from constituents to learn what’s in his congressional briefs.

Rep. Weiner has since claimed that he is the victim of a prank… that began when he was born with the last name Weiner.

In the media, the scandal is being called “Weinergate,” which is also what the Congressman calls his fly.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

“Auto Tweet”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/driveon/post/2011/03/employee-fired-for-dropping-f-bomb-in-chrysler-tweet/1

Chrysler Corporation has had an employee of its social media agency fired after he sent a tweet from ChyslerAutos Twitter account dropping the F-bomb. That’s right, he used the word “Ford.”