Amanda Clayton, who hit a $! Million lottery in Michigan last fall, pleaded not guilty to felony welfare fraud charges this week, for continuing to collect food stamps after her big win. If convicted, she faces up to 4 years in prison. I think she wants it, too. Why stop at food stamps when you can have free room and board?
Showing posts with label Michigan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Michigan. Show all posts
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
The Lap Dance, White House, NASCAR, Robbery, Pope, Robbery and Twitter Review
A scandal erupted this week for Gerardo Hernandez, a mayoral candidate in Sunland Park, New Mexico who was secretly video-taped receiving a lap-dance from a topless woman in his office. Hernandez would have told the woman to stop and get dressed, but he didn’t want to be involved in a cover-up.
Hernandez has not dropped out of the race, but has lost at least one vote – his wife’s.
The White House defended President Obama’s apology to Afghan President Hamid Karzi in the wake of two American troops who were killed in what is believed to be retaliation for the burning of copies of the Quran. Obama hopes Afghanistan will apologize for the murder of the two Americans so we can call it even.
If Afghanistan doesn’t accept Obama’s apology, he wants to ask how many more American troops they would like to kill until they forgive us.
NASCAR driver Danica Patrick’s race in the Sprint Cup ended abruptly, with a violent collision in the final lap of the qualifying race. Luckily she wasn’t injured, and as a bonus, she’s been offered an endorsement deal from CrashDaddy.com.
Up until the collision, Danica had been doing well. NASCAR experts theorize that she probably started fixing her hair and make-up in the rearview mirror, or calling her girlfriends on her cell phone.
Campaigning in Michigan, Mitt Romney said Friday that “Detroit should not just be the Motor City of America… (but) of the world.” Mitt was talking about his love of cars all week, so it seems he is putting his Motor where his mouth is.
He also criticized government fuel efficiency standards as having put too great a burden on the auto industry. Apparently, he forgot that most American voters are also drivers who have to pay for their own gas.
In Spain, 4 thieves who robbed a warehouse vault on Thursday crashed their getaway car into another vehicle, carjacked another car to escape, but forgot their loot in the back seat of the abandoned car. To avoid this problem next time, they are riding bikes.
Even though the loot was left in bags inside the car, it’s okay because the loot did not include milk or any other perishable items.
The driver is especially worried because he doesn’t think his insurance covers botched heists.
Since they lost their own automobile, which is now is police possession, the first plan they made for their next job was to arrange for a car rental.
Pope Benedict XVI has begun posting daily tweets for the Catholic repentance period of Lent. That ought to get the young people of the Internet.
His tweets pose the question, “What would Jesus say – in 140 characters or less.”
The Vatican hopes the tweets will reach everyone who didn’t give up Twitter for Lent.
The Pope carries around 3 tablets. One’s an iPad, and the other 2 just have the Ten Commandments on them.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
“Win or Lose”
Lawmakers in Michigan Michigan
The man was seen buying groceries using a food stamps debit card, or as he refers to it, ‘playing his lucky numbers.’
The lottery winner was awarded a lump sum of about $1 million out of a $2 million jackpot, the remainder being paid in taxes. No wonder he’s using food stamps. These days, who can get by on only a million dollars?
Fortunately, food stamps are not allowed to be used to buy lottery tickets. If they were, it could result in a endless loop of outrage.
Said a concerned citizen, “Food stamps were not intended for lottery winners. Food stamps are for losers.”
Friday, April 15, 2011
"You Got Served"
A mother in Michigan
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