“Brief Mission”

Japanese astronaut Koicha Wakata returned from the International Space Station this week, where his mission included testing new underpants made for life in space. Their first discovery: when you ride up in space, your underwear rides up, too.

The underpants are made to be super-absorbent of sweat, insulated, quick-drying, and antibacterial. The only known design flaw is that they have not been able to make them wedgie-proof.

The real question was, in the tense moments leading up to a landing back on earth, coull the underwear handle a splashdown?

Space agencies are trying to extend the life of disposable garments used in space, since there isn’t a sufficient water supply to wash them. Dry cleaning is out of the question, based on the risk that the astronauts might forget their ticket.

The European Space Agency is way ahead of NASA in both the “not washing clothes” and “not bathing” areas.

Mr. Wakata did not change his underwear more than once a month during the test, an element described as the “mother’s shame” factor.

Japan was confident in Wakata’s piloting skills, as well, stating that he could land a space shuttle on any runway, without so much as leaving a skid mark.

As in previous shuttle missions, no one wanted to see a crack in the equipment.

Strict military rank and protocol prevent any astronauts from voluntarily “going commando.”

Following his return to Earth, Wakata was immediately debriefed.