Wednesday, July 1, 2009

“Mac & Meat”

McDonalds is taking their new line of 1/3 lb. premium burgers nationwide, using Angus beef and serving them in 3 varieties, all for about $4.00. For an extra dollar, they’ll just hit you with a defibrillator.

The chain has been selling the premium burgers in certain markets, but is ready to sell it everywhere in the country, now that Obama is talking seriously about national health care.

McDonald’s will include with each burger purchased a set of plastic knives and surgical utensils so you can remove your heart to protect it.

Market research shows that these extra large burgers should be popular with the suicidal.

Drive-through business is expected to be high, as people prefer to drive themselves to the hospital instead of waiting for the ambulance.

This is a big sandwich to hold. For the first time, the Hamburglar is hiring henchmen.

The premium choices are designed to appeal to McDonald’s more mature customers. As of now, their oldest living regulars are reaching ages up to 26.

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