From Today's News: Tuesday, Aug. 21, 2007

In Oregon, two 13 year old boys were cleared of charges for swatting several same-age girls on the behind at school. Originally the boys faced felony sexual abuse charges. They were suspended from school and spent five days in juvenile detention. Meanwhile, a new law in the town defines “Spin the Bottle” as gang rape.

“Seven Minutes in Heaven” will now get you Seven-to-Ten in Maximum Security.

Also, all mistletoe is being confiscated before Christmas, before it claims any more victims.

Four of the girls asked that the charges be dropped, and a civil compromise was reached instead, where each girl received an apology and $250. The girls were then immediately arrested for prostitution.



According to a national survey, one in four Americans did not read any books last year. Most didn’t have time. These are Americans; they were too busy eating.

There was more to this story, but I decided to wait until it’s on TV to find out more.

The survey gives a breakdown of readership of popular genres. That can be difficult to measure, as some books cross over. Like Bill Clinton’s autobiography is part politics, part pornography.



Wal-Mart has recalled 2 brands of dog treats, both made in China, over customers’ complaints that the snacks made their pets sick. Wal-Mart is now conducting independent tests on the products, which means, feeding them to illegal employees to see what happens.

China has issued a statement saying that they are very embarrassed to learn that any of the products they export are sold at Wal-Mart.

On the other hand, you have to know the chicken-jerky for dogs sold at Wal-Mart to be loaded with artificial ingredients and preservatives. You think that’s going to be healthy? You’re lucky it’s even legal!

Why would you give that to a dog? Forget about nutrition. Anything with that many chemicals has to be dangerous.

In fact, a closer look at the box revealed a few warnings:
(Translated from the Chinese label)
Not intended for consumption.
Keep product away from children and adults.
Do not remove from original container.
Do not give to live animals.
Not for indoor use.
Do not expose to sunlight.
Do not handle without protective gloves and goggles.
Avoid prolonged exposure.
Side effects may include glowing in the dark.
No not shake or get product wet. – Keep away from dogs mouths.

From Today's News: Monday, Aug. 20, 2007

A China Airways jumbo jet burst into flames after landing and coming to a stop at the airport in Okinawa, Japan--luckily, everyone aboard evacuated and are fine. The fire’s cause is unknown, but the first suspicion was that before landing, somebody didn’t put his or her chair back in the full, upright position.

Even thoough all 165 people aboard got out safely, one flight attendant was left to wonder if she left the coffee pot on.

Most of the passengers slid down emergency chutes and ran away from the plane. But first class passengers took specially made escalators to their waiting limousines.

Many passengers feared that their luggage was destroyed, but it wasn’t. Not surprisingly, their bags were on a plane to Newark.



A salt-cured ham from Spain costing about $2100 per leg is being called the world’s most expensive pork. Apparently, nobody bothered to check Heidi Fleiss’s old ledgers.



Luciano Pavoratti, who was hospitalized earlier this month with a high fever, will remain in hospital care for several more days, for more tests. As for the bank note secured to pay for his medical bills, the facility assured Pavoratti that he could hold the note.



About 11 extras fell off of a slow-moving truck on the set of Tom Cruise’s next movie, a World War II thriller filming in Germany. All the other extras were fine, because they agreed to go to the Scientology meeting, like Tom asked them to.