“Appalachian Tail?”

Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina confessed today that he had more frequent visits with his Argentinean mistress than previously admitted. Then he said that there were several other women with whom he did not have sex, but with whom he “crossed the line.” Analysts said, “Okay, he’s just bragging, now.”

Sanford wanted to be clear that he’d only had sex with his mistress, Maria Chapur, and not any of these other women. Because cheating on your mistress is just plain wrong.

Gov. Sanford may be depressed, and those in the know say that to admit to any kind of tryst that might anger your South American girlfriend, you’d have to be suicidal.

While most fellow Republicans have been critical of Sanford, and some have called for his resignation, Senator John Ensign looked at a picture of Sanford’s mistress and simply said, I’d do her.”