President Obama is attending the funeral for the president and first lady of Poland this weekend. Secret Service is making inquiries to find out how many Poles it will take to… provide additional security.
Despite the tragic plane crash that took the president’s and the first lady’s lives, the Polish government asserts that the country’s aircraft are perfectly safe, just like the Polish submarines, since their screen doors were removed.
Joe Biden may also attend the funeral, but his aides have been carefully instructed to keep the Vice President from breaking a light bulb just to see how many locals then come around to change it.
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