“Snake Belt”

In South Carolina, a man was arrested for striking another man in the face with his 4-foot python. The defendant may get off, since the law’s definition of this kind of incident is too constricting.

“Hey, that hurt. I’m going to sue you for every rodent you’ve got,” said the python.

Talking about his assaulter, the victim said, “Well luckily for me, he didn’t have a pet anaconda. Or penis.”