Wednesday, July 6, 2011

“Implanted Evidence” or “Scare Tactics”


The TSA has issued a warning to airlines that terrorists might try to surgically implant bombs into their bodies.  They issued that warning when they saw the average American’s  cholesterol level.
No doubt about it; it’s a ticking time bomb.

This means that if Kim Kardashian really did have butt implants and they became unstable, she could be charged with carrying weapons of ass destruction.

If suicide bombers are willing to insert explosive devices into body cavaties as a way of concealing them, in a way, that means we really have won the war on terror.  You stick a bomb up your own butt, you lose.

The terrorists may not find it that easy to have explosive implants put in.  Only one out of three Beverly Hills plastic surgeons is willing to insert implants with a live fuse sticking out.


Just remember, if you are a suicide bomber putting explosive implants in your body, use saline instead of silicone.  Safety first.

Terrorist organizations have only one volunteer so far: Heidi Montag.  She will get any kind of implant they can make.

How does al-Qaida convince its members to sign up for explosive implants?  “Yes, brothers, get explosive implants.  You will be richly rewarded, not only in heaven, but here on earth, too... briefly.  You are going to kill Americans, but first, you’ll go from an A-cup to a double-D!  (Beat.)  First... va-va-voom.  Then... va-va-boom!”

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