“Cheetah Girl”

At the Cincinnati Zoo, an 8-year old cheetah named Sarah broke the world’s land-speed record for mammals. She ran 100 meters in 6.13 seconds, shattering the old record by 3 seconds. Her competitors are, of course, now demanding gender testing.

Cheetahs’ speed comes from their sleek body structure, efficient food-to-energy conversion, and, of course, massive doses of steroids.