Tuesday, October 27, 2009

“Pilots’ Story: Not Gonna Fly”

The FAA revoked the licenses of the 2 pilots whose Northwest Airlines flight overshot Minneapolis last week by 150 miles. Even worse, without a license, the pilots now have to walk all the way back to Minneapolis.

The pilots will now change careers and become ship captains for Exxon.

The pilots were out of radio contact for over an hour and are believed to have fallen asleep, but they’ve come up with some interesting excuses for missing their landing:

“We thought we were being followed so we were afraid to stop.”

“It was supposed to be a shortcut, but it didn’t work out.”

“We had a good CD on and wanted hear the whole album.”

“There was no exit sign.”

“I meant to hit the ‘snooze’ button, but accidentally turned off the whole alarm.”

“We got lost and someone refused to ask for directions.”

“The brakes went out, so we threw the radio at them.”

“The clouds up there were really pretty, and we were really high.”

“We prepaid for a full tank of fuel.”

“The passengers said we were such great pilots, they didn’t want to flight to end.”

“The guys in the radio tower hurt our feelings so we weren’t speaking to them.”

“We were caught in an alien tractor beam.”

“We spent that hour trying to decide if we should go through with our suicide pact.”

“I promised myself I wouldn’t land the plane until I worked up the nerve to ask out that hot flight attendant.”

“You call it a missing hour; we pilots call it ‘Happy Hour’, dude.”

“We were flying so fast that it took 150 miles to stop.”

“We didn’t know the tower was calling us because we didn’t realize we’d switched the radio to the AM dial.”

“We’re huge ‘Lost,” fans and we were trying to reenact the flight of Oceanic 815.”

“We figured if a runaway flight hoax could get Balloon Boy’s family on TV, a real runaway flight could get us on TV for sure.”

“We lost track of time while we were making sweet, sweet love.”

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