“Service on the Mount”

The National Park Service says that Mount Rushmore’s security system is insufficient. To scare off potential threats, the heads of Presidents Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt and Lincoln will be fitted with giant sunglasses and earpieces.

Jefferson and Roosevelt may even go undercover, since most Americans don’t recognize those two anyway.

Apparently, graffiti artists have already drawn a silly, giant moustache on Roosevelt and a ridiculous beard on Lincoln.