According to TMZ, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are going to divorce after 5 years of marriage. Or at least, 5 years of pretend marriage.
Tom and Katie supposedly have a prenup, so he will likely keep most of his assets after the divorce is final, and Katie will get to go have sex with a man.
The divorce finally came because after five years, you can’t help but get tired of a partner who just isn’t as much of a man as you want. And Katie probably has her reasons, too.
As husbands go, Tom came up a bit short.
The marriage has shown signs of strain ever since America saw all the sexual tension in Tom’s interview with Matt Lauer.
Rumor has it that Tom slept with as many women on the set of Rock of Ages as he has on every other movie he’s done: none.
Tom will continue with his movie career, and Katie will go back to Dawson’s Creek. Not the show; that was cancelled years ago. She’s actually going to a tiny town called Dawson’s Creek.
Their daughter Suri Cruise is confused by the whole thing, but she does understand even though her 2 mommies love her very much, they won’t be living together in separate bedrooms anymore.
Tom insists that his marriage to Katie and their family life was real. He says, “If I was going to fabricate the basic structural elements for a group of people to build their lives around, pretending it had depth or meaning, getting them to grow within that structure, the whole time knowing it’s a complete farce, I would have invented Scientology.