This is the kind of news I am always proud to report. It’s almost too good to be true:
At the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, in a show called Circus of Horrors, a performer who happens to be a dwarf got his penis stuck to a vacuum cleaner in an act gone wrong. Which leaves one to wonder: what would have been the act gone right?
Wow. A vacuum stuck on a dwarf penis . That sucks-- but only a very little bit.
Adding insult to injury, I heard the vacuum cleaner was just a dust-buster.
I guess some men really do love their machines.
The dwarf was rushed to the hospital, but spectators were in the most immediate danger, as they almost died laughing.
According to eyewitnesses, it was a bagless unit. And so was the vacuum.
En route to the hospital, the dwarf was advised that everything would be best if he didn’t get excited.
Though he was embarrassed, the performer was not seriously injured. It just turns out he’s not half the man he thought he was.
He also wondered if he would be able to perform in the future. Or do his act.
The dwarf kept procrastinating to have the vacuum pulled off, until hospital staff demanded to know, “How long are we going to drag this out?”
Doctors at the hospital were eventually able to remove the vacuum cleaner, but for a while, it was a close shave.
It seems the vacuum cleaner attachment had broken, was glued back together, and then the glue stuck to the dwarf’s anatomy during his (ahem) performance. Had the glue been allowed to try, the vacuum cleaner would have worked fine, but instead, now it’s screwed.
Luckily for all involved, as dramatically as this story began, it ended with no climax.
The dwarf says that he feels the incident actually benefited him, but that might be a stretch.
For this news story, I’d like to thank the vacuum, and the dwarf who had a small part in it.
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