From Today's News, Aug. 10, 2007

While surrounded by paparazzi, Britney Spears hit a parked car while parking to do some shopping in Studio City, CA. Wow. Look how far she has to go now, to divert photographers from noticing whether or not she’s wearing underwear.

She left no note and made no attempt to contact the owner of the car she scraped. Maybe she didn’t notice the damage, or maybe she did but thought, “Oh, it’s nothing worth shaving your head over.”

Okay, so she hit a parked car. Give her a break. It’s the only hit she’s had in 3 years.

You know, this little car accident seems to be the perfect analogy for her life on the whole. No, wait. THAT’s a train wreck.



Congress is considering a measure to raise federal tax on cigarettes to $1 a pack. If the tax hike passes, economic experts say that the best way for smokers to save money is to just switch to crack.

A new warning on packs will say; Cigarette smoking can be hazardous to your wealth.

The rise in the cost of cigarettes will have other effects. Prisons have been warned to be on the lookout for counterfeit smokes being used as currency.

As the cost of cigarettes increases, it does become a bigger burden or lower-income smokers, household budgets result in two opposing scenarios: #1, people try to cut down or quit smoking, and #2, Tobacco-whores.



Luciano Pavoratti, who was admitted to a hospital in Italy earlier this week, is still being kept for observation. Through his wife he told reporters he expects to be released in the coming days. Also, she said he’s doing better, ending the conversation on a high note.

Pavoratti has not performed live, publicly since his pancreatic cancer surgery last year, but has continued to work on music recordings. It’s not the same, but it’s his choice how to conduct himself.



The U.S. Army is pulling extra staff into recruitment to try to meet their goal of 80,000 new personnel per year. Most of the people being shifted to recruiting seem optimistic. A spokesman for the department said, “Hey, it beats going to Iraq!”

The army has used successful slogans in the past, such as “Be all you can be.” “Army of one,” and the more recent “Not just strong. Army strong.” Now they’re going to a new one: “Got war?”