“Frozen Assets”

At a conference addressing the 50-year old Antarctic Treaty this week, Hillary Clinton spoke up about the U.S. limiting cruise ships’ size in order to protect Antarctic ice and penguins. Bill Clinton considered Hillary an authority on the subject and vouched for her own personal coldness.

Hillary spoke about limiting the numbers of tourists who go ashore on the frozen continent, saying that if there weren’t always so many people around, maybe the penguins wouldn’t feel like they had to dress so formally.

Mrs. Clinton’s statements were praised by environmentalists, but her talk about penguins offended Antarctica’s nuns.

During the final months of the Bush Administration, Dick Cheney was also paying attention to Antarctica, but only so he could rename it “Hoth” and place imperial walkers there to destroy the rebel base.