Wednesday, April 22, 2009

“Solar Roll-Back”

In conjunction with Earth Day Wednesday, Wal-Mart announced that it is nearly doubling the size of its clean energy initiative. The retail giant will power up to 20 more stores and distribution centers with solar arrays, and they are already powering several others with employees forced to run in giant hamster wheels.

A Wal-Mart rep said that it is easy to pair the idea of using global indoor solar heat energy with a company already so associated with international sweatshops.

In the business world, Wal-Mart is already recognized as a very green company, but by that they just mean they make more green than everybody else.

Wal-Mart has used their own business model as their inspiration for the plan: they carry cheap merchandise that they bought even cheaper. The sun is better than cheap; it’s free.

The company’s original plan to harness solar power was based on a different philosophy. They thought that if they could control the sun, they’d control the world.

In another environmentally-friendly-sounding statement, Wal-Mart also said that they were always watching out for the insects. Unfortunately, though, that is just how they refer to all their retail competitors.

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